Why Women Ignore You On Dating Sites; They Have Too Many Options
The primary reason why women ignore you online is they have too many options; especially the hottest women. A study found when presented with too many choices, women may say they are looking for a specific type of guy but actually choose guys with characteristics they aren't looking for.
No doubt you've emailed women you match up with. Maybe you read her profile, and she writes all these things she's looking for a man, and it's basically you, so you send her an email.
Or maybe she shows up in your daily matches or even better, you're on Eharmony, and you're a 100% match. Great, you think. You write a message and send it to her. Either way, you patiently wait for a response and what do you get? Nothing! No response. I would get frustrated when I would email women who shared they were looking for a man like me:
- Educated. Check.
- Active. Check
- Good career. Check.
- Attractive. Check (at least that's what I think).
After I sent a message I wouldn't get a response. Nada. It never made sense to me why so women didn't respond....until I read a few studies and then it clicked. I want to share why it's not you nor is it really the women; it's other dudes who are killing your chances with the hottest women.
Too Many Options Hurts Your Chances
Studies have shown that a "large degree of choice can overwhelm people, undermining their ability to make a good decision." This results in "choice overload" where people avoid making a decision rather than actually putting forth any effort to compare all the options that they have.
This just means a woman with more options might make choices in men that aren't in line with what she says she's looking for on her dating profile because there are too many men to choose from.
In the study, Online Dating: A Critical Analysis From the Perspective of Psychological Science, women browsing a lot of dating profiles chose men who differed more from their own stated preferences than did women browsing only a few dating profiles.
A larger pool of choices caused participants in the study to "spend time poorly"; studying profiles of men who were poorly matched to their stated preferences instead of studying profiles of men who were better matched.
In other words, a woman with too many online dating options will select men who are NOT matches to what they say they are looking for in their dating profiles when they browse a large set of profiles. Basically, the reason why women ignore you is because women will just ignore everything they say they are looking for because who has time to read every email and browse through all those profiles?
Women are subjected to a barrage of messages from men daily. My friend Lisa gave me access to her dating profile on POF so I could see how bad it was for her. She received over 20 messages in 6 minutes which you can see in my blog post, Take A Peak At What A Woman’s Inbox Look Like On Dating Sites.
Too Many Options Hurts Your Chances
If too many options are the reason why women ignore you, it makes sense. A woman with a lot of online dating options has an inbox full of emails and will likely scan the emails and merely glance at a guys profile instead of actually taking the time to read it.
It's like searching for TVs on Amazon. Let's say you search for "50 inch tv" on Amazon you would get this result:
My search resulted in 146 options. Would you honestly go through each of the 146 TVs? Taking the time to examine the features and reviews of each TV. No, you wouldn't. You may scan a few, briefly look at a couple, maybe choose the sleekest looking one.
Or how about this example. Your out and your hungry and want a sandwich. Would you be able to quickly make a decision when faced with this:
This would cause some people to suffer from analysis paralysis. There are just so many choices I'm sure this restaurant encounters plenty of people who stand there looking at the menu unable to make a decision.
Final Thoughts
You know why women ignore you so what can you do about it? It's easy; put some effort into your dating profile and messages to women.
Most men write the same thing to the hottest women on dating sites; telling them how pretty they are or having lame, boring conversation starters. You need to separate yourself from the herd. Here are a few suggestions when you email hot women on dating sites:
- Don't get frustrated and never vent on your profile or send nasty emails to women who don't respond.
- Change your profile around every now and then and focus on taking a different approach in your emails.
- Never compliment women on their looks. Think about it, if a hot girl gets 30 emails a day you can bet 99% of them tell her how pretty she is.
- Keep in mind the study goes both ways; it applies to men too. You might be overlooking potential "keepers" because you're mesmerized by some hottie you have no chance with.
Here are 3 of my blog posts which can help you gain an edge over other men: