What Are The Best Conversation Starters For Dating Apps?

5 Of The Best Conversation Starters to Meet Women

The best conversation starters on dating apps show effort, confidence, humor, and curiosity. Follow the tips on this post, and you can easily get responses to your icebreakers.

Whatever dating app you're a member of doesn't matter - women respond to the same things. With some changes to your icebreakers, you can see a significant improvement on apps. 

This post shares 5 of the best ways to start conversations on apps. I breakdown each approach with screenshots from various apps showing their effectiveness. 

Beware: Never send low-effort icebreakers.

One of the biggest complaints by men is women never respond to their messages. The reason is simple - most guys send terrible opening messages on dating apps.  

Typically, men say, "How are you" or "How's your day?" You say these things to someone in an elevator, not an icebreaker.

Another common approach is complimenting a woman's looks. Never tell a woman she's attractive because many men use the same approach.

You won't get many responses from women using boring, bland messages that show a complete lack of effort. Women are bombarded by the same types of messages on apps. 

Below is an example of a woman's inbox on Tinder. Note how the men say nothing in their icebreakers that warrants a response.

Use THIS template for your conversation starters. 

Creating a message that stands out is simple. I use this template that gets a lot of responses from women:

Section 1. Introduction - Begin your message with a simple "Hi." If the woman shares her name in her profile, use it in your message. Women are more likely to respond if the message includes their name.

Section 2. Ask a question - Anything a woman shares in her profile is fair game for your icebreaker. Asking a question shows curiosity that you want to get to know her beyond her looks.

Section 3. Share something about yourself - Whatever question you ask a woman, share your answer. Women are more likely to respond if you answer your question.

Hinge found, "the best way to get a response is to ask a direct question about your match's profile while sharing your interests."

So, if you ask a woman her favorite type of wine, share yours. If you ask a woman what show she's binge-watching on Netflix, share a show you're watching. Get it?

Here's a breakdown of the template for the message above. 

Section 1 – Introduction: "Hi Samantha"
Section 2 – Profile question: I ask Samantha about her favorite beer and list a few different types.
Section 3 – Share something about yourself: I share one of my favorites, Swami IPA, from a brewery in San Diego.

There are exceptions to sharing something about yourself - asking a question about photos. I cover that in the "Ask a question about a woman's picture" below. 

1. Focus on a woman's bio.

The best way to start conversations on apps is to ask about a woman's bio. Dating apps encourage you to focus on the woman's profile.

Jess Carbino, Tinder's sociologist, shared that "7 in 10 Tinder women want your message to show curiosity. Ask about her profile." Yes, even on Tinder, women want you to ask about something in their bio.

EliteSingles shares, "find something in their profile you both share and talk about that. This not only helps you establish your shared interests but also demonstrates that you have actually read their profile and paid attention to their hobbies."

A woman's profile is a goldmine for conversation starters. Focus on common interests - anything in the profile can be used in an icebreaker.

Commenting on something in a woman's bio shows women you took the time to read her profile. You'll stand out against the other guys who use low-effort approaches like "Hey" or "How are you today?"

Below is a conversation starter on Coffee Meets Bagel. It's a simple question about Angie's love of board games. Even the most simple topic can start a conversation on an app.

Remember, most men use low-effort approaches. Boring, lame, non-engaging messages will always get you measly response rates.

Asking a question about a woman's bio shows her that you're interested in getting to know who her beyond her photos. This alone makes your message stand out. 

Below is an example from POF. The woman doesn't share her name in her profile, so the message starts with a question but gets a response. 

2. Ask a question about a woman's picture.

Photos are a great alternative for starting a conversation when women share little to nothing about themselves in their bios. The best thing to do is ask a question about the photo; where's the location, was it fun, when did they take the picture.

Even a simple question about a photo can result in a response. What's better than a question about a picture? Adding a compliment to your message

Complimenting a photo can boost your results. Never compliment a woman's appearance - you compliment something about the picture. 

Below is an example from Hinge. I compliment Raquel's balancing act and ask where the picture is from. 

Note Raquel's answer is short. This is fine because all you should care about is getting a response, nothing more.

I'm not worried about how a woman responds; getting one is the key. You can take charge of the conversation and take the lead from there.

3. Ask a woman for a guilty pleasure. 

A simple, effective opening message is asking a woman for one of her guilty pleasures. The beauty of this message is its simplicity, plus its uniqueness.

A guilty pleasure is "something, such as a movie, television program, or piece of music, that one enjoys despite feeling that it is not generally held in high regard." Everyone has guilty pleasures, so why not ask a woman to share some of hers?

This is a great icebreaker to add to your arsenal - I find women are more than willing to share a guilty pleasure or two. Remember, share your guilty pleasure in your message.

4. Ask a woman for a "favorite."

A quick way to start a conversation is asking a woman for a "favorite." You can literally ask anything in the message. Things you can ask include a favorite:

• A favorite restaurant.
• A current favorite show on Netflix.
• A favorite Friday night or weekend activity.
• A favorite local place for music.
• A favorite hobby.

Focus on a topic in the woman's profile or photo. So, if you see a woman drinking a glass of wine in a picture, ask about her favorite type of wine. Maybe a woman shares she likes Friends, ask which episode is her favorite.

This approach can start a lot of conversations. Be sure to share your favorite thing as well in your icebreaker. Below is an example on OkCupid. 

5. When in doubt - use a funny opener. 

One of the best conversation starters is using humor - if you can make a woman laugh in your icebreaker, the odds your message gets a response skyrockets. Women love men with a sense of humor.

There is no better first impression than making a woman smile. Remember that humor is subjective, so it's risky but well worth it.

What type of humor works? There's no "one" answer because women react to different things.

Self-effacing humor is a great choice, but don't blatantly mock yourself (you'll look insecure). Funny observations about the woman, one of your philosophies, or a story also work well.

This isn't the time to tell a joke. The message must be about you or the woman; a joke doesn't do this.

Also, avoid teasing a woman as that can get lost in translation. Never tease anything about a woman's appearance. She may think you're insulting her.

Below is an example on Tinder. It's a silly icebreaker that works because it's funny and engages the woman. 

Final Thoughts

The best conversation starters show confidence, humor, curiosity, and effort. This post shares 5 of the best approaches you can use to get more responses. 

There's no one magical message that will start conversations with women. But, you can get spectacular results using the tips in this post. 

Do you want to get the best results on apps? If you want to meet more women, THIS can help.