What Are The Worst Online Dating Messages Men Send to Women?
The worst online dating messages men send to women include one-word conversation starters, physical compliments, and showing desperation. Doing any of these ruins any hope of getting a response back.
Women receive a lot of crappy messages from men on dating sites. The most attractive women receive the most messages, and unfortunately for them, the messages are awful. Here's a screenshot of the inbox on POF of a very attractive female friend, Lisa.
Lisa wanted to share with me why she is frustrated with online dating. Just look at the number of messages she received over 2 days; 263 messages. She showed me all the messages in her inbox, and I'm here to tell you that every single message was terrible.
This post shows you the 5 worst online dating messages women receive. Check the messages so you can avoid the mistakes the men below make.
Some women give warnings for your icebreaker.
1. One or Two Word Messages
One of the worst online dating messages you can send a woman is a one or two-word message saying "hi" or something similar. This is the most common icebreaker women receive.
One-word messages show a complete lack of effort, and you might as well write, "Hi, I have absolutely nothing to say." Here's a fact, OkCupid found a message with the word "hey" has an 84% chance of being ignored.
A message like this is a terrible first impression.
2. Physical Compliments
The second most common message women receive is physical compliments. Telling a woman she's attractive is a surefire way for your message to be deleted.
Sending the message "You are gorgeous" comes across as a line because so many men send the same message. You turn women off when telling them they're pretty.
Zoosk found when men used the following words in their messages to women, they hurt response rates:
- Sexy - 13% fewer responses
- Beautiful - 20% fewer responses
- Cute - 24% fewer responses
- Gorgeous - 22% fewer responses
You'll set yourself apart from men by complimenting a woman about something in the free text section of her dating profile, not her photos. Never compliment a woman's looks.
Never compliment a woman's looks in your opening message.
3. Lack of Confidence
Another of the worst online dating messages is messages that show zero confidence and seek her approval. Eliminate the words "if," "would," and "maybe" from your messages. Remember, show confidence. Assume she is interested.
Do you think the message "maybe we could chat" is OK? Read it out loud. You can hear how it shows zero confidence.
Messages like this show a lack of confidence.
4. Asking Women Out
I'm all for finding out where you stand sooner than later, but asking a woman out on a date in your first message is a terrible idea. Don't do it.
Do I really have to explain why? You're a complete stranger and need to build a connection before a woman agrees to a date.
Zoosk found the following when asking a woman out in a first message:
- Messages that used the word "date" resulted in 14% fewer responses from women.
- Messages that used the word "go out" resulted in 56% fewer responses from women.
Don't ask women out in your first message .
5. Showing Desperation
The most cringe-worthy of the worst online dating messages is when men show desperation. Begging or pleading with a woman to respond to you is not attractive.
Your actions show the type of man you are. Blasting women with several messages in a small window of time just shows you are desperate and insecure.
Not all women are on dating sites 24/7. If a woman doesn’t respond to your first message, a friendly follow-up a few days later will do but leave it at that.
There’s no need to email her at 7 PM Tuesday night then again at 8 AM Wednesday if you don’t hear from her overnight.
I always recommend sending the second message a few days later, but not the next day. You look needy and desperate if you send the second message too soon.If you send two messages and don’t hear back from her, she’s not interested. Move on. Focus on someone else.
Sending multiple messages is a no-no.
5. Final Thoughts
What are the worst online dating messages you can send a woman? These type of messages:
- One or Two Word Messages
- Physical Compliments
- Lack of Confidence
- Asking Her Out
- Showing Desperation
If you want to meet more women, you need better approaches than the ones above. Ask a woman open-ended questions about something in her profile. It can be anything.
Of the 263 messages sent to my friend Lisa, there was not a single one that asked her about her interests, passions, or hobbies. They were all complimentary, boring elevator talk, or even offensive like this:
You deserved to be ignored sending messages like this.
Elevator talk is something you would say to someone you are sharing an elevator with. Meaningless, boring, weak conversations such as "How was your weekend?" or "Enjoying your weekend?" Yes, men send these messages to women.
Separate yourself from the herd. Focus on something other than pictures. Mention something in a woman's free text section.
You're likely to get more responses from women if you actually comment on something in her profile instead of sending a message like one of the 5 above.
If you want to see a better approach to your first message, check out my blog post What To Say In A First Message To Women On Dating Sites: 4 Steps To The Perfect Opening Message.
Leave your comments below. I would love to hear what you have to say about Top 5 Worst Online Dating Messages Men Send to Women.
What about a woman,who views your profile multiple times a day but never writes back?
If a woman views your profile and doesn’t write back, wait a day or so, then call her out on it. Write her something funny and semi-cocky; “I noticed you checked out my profile and didn’t send me a message. Were you intimidated by my killer smile or is it my Brad Pitt like features? Which is it? :-)” A woman will realize you are joking and is much more likely to respond than a second message like “Hi”, or “You are beautiful”, or “How is your day?”, or “Did you not see my message?” which most guys do as you can see above.
If she doesn’t respond after your second message, move on. There are plenty of women out there.
All sites use fake female profiles on top of all the hackers that spam and generate fake profiles to gather information. https://www.buzzfeed.com/stephenlaconte/dating-app-secrets-employees-tell-all-reddit