The Top Relationship Deal Breakers for Women

Why does a woman’s love fade over time? A study of over 5,000 singles found the top relationship deal breakers for women helping answer that question.

According to researchers who participated, Relationship Dealbreakers: Traits People Avoid in Potential Mates, the study represents “the first systematic and comprehensive attempt to understand the traits that people avoid in their partners.”

You would think women and men would have different deal breakers but the study shows women and man are very similar.

Relationship Deal Breakers Study Results

Below are the results for the study broken down by sexes. Note how men and women are very similar in their deal breakers.

Participants in the study ranged from age 21 to 76 and older people tended to have more deal breakers than younger people. Also, women tended to have more relationship deal breakers than men.

Deal Breakers That Stand Out

1. 1. You’re Lazy – Do you let her make all the plans? Do you help around the house?  Are you content just laying around and doing nothing?   You need to consistently show her you’re invested in your relationship.  If not, she’ll look elsewhere.
   2. You Unkempt – You don’t want to dress like a slob and let your grooming habits slide.  You don’t have to dress like some male GQ model but have a little pride in your appearance.  It all boils down to this; put in some effort to your appearance.
   3. You’re Needy – Nothing kills attraction like neediness.  If you’re needy you are just showing your insecurity.  Give her space.  Some women are more independent than others so it’s up to you to gauge her space.  If you need to dominate her social media, if you spend 100% of your time with her and don’t spend time with your friends, if you seek her approval for everything, and if you can’t let her “breathe” among other things, you’re too needy.
   4. You Have No Sense of Humor – If I had a dime for every female dating profile that said “I love to laugh” I’d be a billionaire.  It’s a cliche but it’s true.  No woman wants to share a life with a boring guy who takes life too seriously.  Be fun and loose.  Don’t be a stick in the mud.
   5. You’re Bad In Bed – Keep your sex life fun and passionate.   Don’t just roll over on her and do missionary.  You want to keep her juices flowing so be open-minded and talk about what she likes and what you like.  The key is communication.  Don’t assume because you get off that she does.

Relationship Deal Breakers for Women on Reddit

I wanted to hear from women what their relationship deal breakers were so I posted a question on Reddit.

The answers can give you insight into behavior women find unacceptable. You can see that they align with the results of the study above.

See if you exhibit some of the behaviors.

• Inconsiderate of others
• Incompatible styles of communication
• Lack of motivation
• Poly (Polyamory lifestyle)
• Jealousy
• Self-centered
• Lack of ambition
• Drug use/abuse
• Poor communicator
• Smoking
• Anger issues
• Unmotivated/no career path
• Addiction
• No stability
• Doesn’t want children
• Dishonest/Fake
• Doesn’t like body contact/touching/snuggling
• Appearance (shower, shave, comb your damn hair, put on nice clothes that fit)
• Commitment-phobic, bad temper, dislikes cats
• High Strung/Reactive/Fear based
• Negative in non-amusing ways
• Isn’t able to ever compromise, incompatible communication styles, incompatible sex drives
• lying, drinking too much, no sense of humor
• STD, distance, submissive (more of a “soft” deal breaker).
• Doesn’t want marriage/kids
• Unhealthy lifestyle
• Overly religious
• Mismatched libido/sexual incompatibility
• Emotionally challenged
• Easily discouraged/directionless/no passions (I feel like these all stem from the same personality traits)
• Socially conservative in any way – religious, into traditional gender roles, has conservative/negative opinions about
• feminism, science, LGBT issues, etc.
• Sexually reserved, vanilla, or low libido. Incompatible.

Final Thoughts

These responses on Reddit give insight into what women want and don’t want in a partner.  First of all, you can use some of these answers to help you strengthen your dating profile.

Your dating profile should show you have passions, have a career (if applicable), avoid coming off as narcissistic, have photos that show you clean up nicely, and share how you’re affectionate among other things.

As for relationship deal breakers, I’m not going to lie and tell you I’m some relationship expert but I do know that women find the following things a turnoff:

• Being inconsiderate
• Jealousy
• Sexual incompatibility
• Drugs
• Bad communication skills
• Laziness
• Anger

If you have these type of behaviors it may be time for you to look at yourself.  It can be hard, very hard to look at yourself and seek change but the first step to a healthy relationship is looking at yourself before going into one.

Talk to a friend.

Grab a book.

See a therapist.

As for religion and politics, if these things are important to you, don’t hide them to appeal to women.

Don’t hesitate to share your political or religious beliefs because as I pointed out in a blog post before, when women share your political beliefs or religious beliefs, they find you hotter!

Of course, you may not want to use your profile to vent about your political leanings or religion so be sure you mention them in a positive way and don’t attack other viewpoints. A negative profile does more harm than good.



Please leave a comment below and share any of your relationship deal breakers.