How To Flirt With A Girl Without Being Obvious.
Do you want to know how to flirt with a girl without being obvious? Don't because it doesn't work. Instead, be direct with women because it's more effective!
A study has found women may not recognize you are flirting with them, so you are more than likely wasting your time. According to the study, it’s hard for women to detect if you are flirting or not.
Women Aren't Aware You're Putting The Moves On Them
According to the study, “Accurately Detecting Flirting: Error Management Theory, the Traditional Sex Script, and Flirting Base Rate” flirting may not matter.
The study paired men and women for 10-12 minute chats where they thought they were participating in a study of first impressions. At the end of the study, the participants filled questionnaires and were asked if they flirted with the other participants or if they thought they had been flirted with.
80% of the time the participants knew they were being hit on however recognizing WHEN they were was much tougher. Men realized it only 36% of the time. Women recognized they were being flirted with just 18% of the time.
In another part of the study, people watched video clips of the participants in the first part of the study to determine if flirting occurred or not. When women observed men flirting with women on the video clips; they identified the flirting 22% of the time.
Another study, It’s Not You, it’s Me: Detecting Flirting and its Misperception in Speed-Dates, focused on Speed Dating and found "people's perceptions of others" was connected with perceptions of themselves "far more so than with what the others actually think they are doing." In other words, you might be flirting with a woman, but if she thinks she's just having a friendly conversation with you, she may not realize you're putting the moves on her.
What This Means To You
So you want to flirt with a girl without being obvious? According to the study, it doesn’t matter. The study found women rarely know exactly when you're flirting with them.
What you need to do is be direct with women. Women love confidence and men who are decisive and take action. If you are at a bar, ask “Are you in a relationship” or say “I want to see you again” and get her number.
On dating sites flirting in emails is a little tougher. The tone of your message may undermine your attempt to flirt and women may misread your signals. Women are already on the defensive on dating sites because they receive tons of emails from men who are all about hookups and have little interest in relationships. Your attempt at flirting may hurt you initially so be direct in your messages.
And for goodness sake, NEVER wink or use some flirting mechanism (roses, gifts, likes, etc…) with a woman on a dating site. It’s a lazy attempt for attention and shows low effort on your part.
When you exchange a few emails with a woman, conclude your email with “Send me your number” and give her a call or a text. It's best to ask her if she's a "texter" or likes to talk on phones when you get her number.
Remember, get her phone number sooner than later because after you send her that first email, there’s a tipping point when meeting women online. The longer you wait, the less likely you’ll be successful. I covered that in this blog post, How Long Is Too Long To Wait For A First Date With Women Online?
Remember, take action. Always.