Don't Become An Online Dating Pen Pal With Women
Women don't want an online dating pen pal. You never want to be the guy who has long drawn out conversations on the dating app.
There are two types of men on dating apps; those that want to meet women and those who want to swap messages. A pen pal is someone who wants to chat online and never actually meet up.
If you want to avoid the label of an online dating penpal, ask the woman out. Even better, ask women out sooner than later, so you know where you stand.
When you ask a woman out, you have a 0% chance of becoming a pen pal. Problem solved.
The last thing you want to is becoming a pen pal with someone, and yes, some women are only looking to swap messages and not meet for whatever reason.
Women are fed up with men who have no interest in meeting.
Take Action To Avoid Becoming A Dating Site Pen Pal
You don't want to swap messages with a woman who has no interest in meeting you. Your time is valuable, so why invest in someone who only wants a chat buddy. Focus on women who want to meet you instead.
I suggest you ask a woman for her number sooner than later. If a woman's into you, she'll gladly give you her number.
A woman who is into you will want to meet you, and the first step is sending you her number.
Don't ask a woman out in your first message. You should swap 4-5 messages making sure there are a natural ebb and flow to your conversation. Only then should you get her number.
If you want detailed steps of how to ask a woman out, I covered it in this blog post, How To Ask A Woman Out On A Dating Site In 3 Simple Steps.
Just ask a woman out so you can avoid being a pen pal.
What If A Woman Doesn't Want To Swap Numbers?
Some women will respond, saying they prefer chatting more on the app so they can "get to know you better." These women prefer taking it slower than others, but it's your call if you want to go that route. I prefer moving faster.
If a woman prefers chatting longer than you want, I suggest you ask for her number. It's your call if you're going to become an online dating pen pal.
Here's what I write when someone gives me the "I want to get to know you better" line:
"You joined a dating site to meet someone, right? That's why I'm here too. It's easier to chat over phone or text. Here's my number 555-555-5555. Send me yours." It's that easy.
If you notice, the sentence I use gets her to agree when I ask, "right?" In my experience, most women give me their number when I send this message.
The woman may have her reasons for still holding out. Maybe she's been burned in the past, had a stalker, dealt with guys who sexted her immediately or had a stage 5 clinger who texted her 900 times in a row.
Whatever the woman's reason, always respect her decision. I've had women refuse to swap numbers until after we meet, which is completely fine.
Final Thoughts
The last thing you want is becoming a pen pal with women on dating sites. The solution is simple; ask her out quickly.
Women will not hesitate to give you their number when they're interested in you. If they hesitate to send you their number, walk away and find someone who does want to meetup.
On the flip-side, Don’t be the guy who doesn’t ask women out either. It seems the more attractive the woman, the most passive men become.
Women are on dating sites to meet men and don't want pen pals either. If your messages turn into 1 sentence, messages like "How's your day" or "Anything fun planned for the weekend?"; it's time to step up and ask her out because you've made yourself an online dating pen pal.
