The Top Reasons Why Women Ignore Your Messages

There are a number of reasons women ignore your messages yet most can be easily corrected.  Most men’s mistakes fall into one of five buckets which all crush any chances of success online.

I’ve put together the top 5 reasons women ignore your messages so you can fix your dating profile and/or messages right now.  If women aren’t responding to your messages the odds are you’re committing one of the mistakes below.

1. Your Messages Stink

The first impression women have of you is your initial message. So, imagine you’re a woman who gets bombarded with messages daily like this:

Other lame opening messages include:

• “Hi”
• “How are you?”
• “Hello”
• “Hey”
• “Enjoying your weekend?”
• “Good evening”

You get the idea.  Do you think these type of messages are good conversation starters?  No, they’re awful conversation starters and pretty much assure your message will be ignored.

Aside from mentioning sex, the first message approach above is the worst type of opening message you can send to women.  It shows you didn’t read her profile and are too lazy to make an effort to get to know her.

Sure it’s a numbers game and because of that a lot of men think it’s easier to simply “copy and paste” an approach like this.  You may even do this yourself and might get lucky every once in awhile, however, you’ll do much better if you simply read her profile and comment about something you see.

For a detailed example of how to start conversations with women, check my blog post 3 Good Conversation Starters for Online Dating Messages To Women.

2. You Have Bad Photos

The first thing women look at on your dating profile is your photos.  All it takes is one bad photo to doom your chances.  If you have any of these photos, remove them immediately:

• Half-naked selfies.
• A photo of your pet.
• A photo of your car.
• A landmark.
• A quote.
• Hiding your face (for example, wearing a motorcycle helmet).

Basically, if you aren’t in the photo it needs to be removed.  No woman is going to look at a photo of your car and think to herself, “I gotta meet this guy!”

You want your photos to encourage women to contact you, not run away.  Snap a few photos of yourself doing what you love and your profile will be head and shoulder above other men’s.

Any type of hobby or interest you have is fair game and should be added to your dating profile.  Traveling, hiking, volunteering, playing music, karaoke, work photos, grabbing a beer, working around your house, fixing up your car, at church, riding a bike, etc… are all better choices than anything on the list above.

To see how to take good profile pictures check out my blog post How To Take Good Dating Profile Photos For Men.

3. Your Self-Summary (Written) Section Is Subpar

Believe it or not, women actually read your dating profile. The effort you put into your text section speaks volumes about the effort you’re willing to put into a relationship.

I know it can be hard to sit down and write about yourself but putting a little effort into your written section can pay huge dividends.  Don’t think you can half-ass it on this section.  The written section of your profile is just as important, if not more important, than your photos.

Think about it, women are on dating sites to meet men for relationships (for the most part).  Women have several options so they go through your profile looking for things you have in common.  They look for shared interests which can signal you’re a good match.

So taking the time to share some things on your dating profile is much better than these approaches:

This is an all too often problem for men; putting in hardly any effort into their dating profile.  You don’t have to write your life history in this section but you better put some effort into it if you want women to notice you.

4. You Aren’t Compatible

A lot of guys blindly email women because they find them “hot” without making sure they are actually a match.  Men tend to focus on photos for the most part which is fine but you have to read the fine print to make sure you’re similar or you’ll end up wasting energy emailing women who will never respond to you.

For example, if you share on your dating profile you don’t want children you’re just wasting your time emailing women who want kids. Maybe you share on your profile you want a long-term relationship. Then you shouldn’t email women who share they are looking for something casual.

As I mentioned in the 3rd reason above, women actually read your dating profile. When a woman sees you are looking for different “things” you’ll quickly be bypassed so you just wasted your time contact a woman who you never had a shot in the first place.

When looking for women online, make sure you use your dating sites filtering mechanism. You’ll avoid emailing women who you have no chance of getting responses from.

5. You Give Off A Bad “Vibe”

You don’t want to give off bad signals in your messages, photos, or dating profile.  Women ignore your messages when you’re guilty of any of these red flags:

• Creepy
• Broody
• Clinger
• Stalker
• Weird
• Angry
• Pervert

Often we see ourselves through rose filled glasses and may not realize we are doing something that is off-putting to women.  You may think you are being cool or trying to be different but the reality is you are scaring the crap out of women who look at your profile.

Here are a few examples I found on some dating profiles.

You don’t want to leave your photos open to “interpretation” by women.  Your posture, the lighting of your photos, your facial expressions, and anything you have in your photo is fair game to being scrutinized.  So opt to use well-lit photos where you are having fun and smiling.

When it comes to your messages one email is enough.  If you must send a second message, wait at least a full day and send a completely different message.  Women have lives too and aren’t always online so don’t be the “needy” or “stalker” type of guy who sends 4 messages within 24 hours.

Final Thoughts

I can’t cover every single possible reason why women ignore your messages but odds are if you aren’t getting responses it’s because of one of the following:

• Your Messages Stink.
• You Have Bad Photos.
• Your Self-Summary (Written) Section Is Subpar.
• You Aren’t Compatible.
• You Give Off A Bad “Vibe”.

These are the most common mistakes make with online dating.  If you are doing any of these you must make changes now otherwise you’ll continue to see mediocre results.

Are you curious why women ignore your messages? Please leave comments below.