What Do You Do When A Girl Rejects You On A Dating Site?

So a woman ignored you on your dating site What do you do when a girl rejects you? The solution is simple: Deal with it. The solution is simple: Deal with it.

Don’t dwell on it.  It’s online dating for crying out loud.  Resist the urge to lash out.

When you join a dating site you need to develop a thick skin because some women are going to flat out ignore you. Some women will delete your messages immediately. Some women will trade a few emails and ghost your ass. Sure it’s frustrating but get over it.

Know this: there ARE women who won’t reject you and ARE interested in getting to know you. Those are the women you need to focus your energy on.

Being Rejected By Women Online Sucks

Yeah, rejection stings. It cuts through your self-esteem and honestly, can hurt. When a woman rejects you online, or offline, you feel like she’s telling you that you’re not good enough.

Talk about an ego crusher.

It’s sucks when you read a woman’s profile and you see you match up in terms of everything. So you take the time to craft the perfect message, send it to her, and eagerly await her response.

Then….nothing.

You notice read your message and still didn’t respond. Ugh, it’s even worse when you realize she looked at your profile and didn’t message you.

What you do next is a reflection of who you are as a man.

Don’t Lash Out At Women Who Reject You

It’s funny how so many guys grow a big set of brass balls online and insult women who don’t respond to their emails. Of course, they would never be so brazen in person. It’s easy to hide behind the computer and take it out on women who ignore you.

Don’t be that type of jerk. There’s no need to hurl insults at a woman if she deletes your message or doesn’t respond to you.

You sent her an email dude. She’s under no obligation to respond to your messages.

And if you trade a few emails and she ghosts you, yeah it’s rude, but let it go. She wasn’t worth it anyway.

It’s Not Her, It’s You!

Here’s the thing, and you may not like reading this but you need to; it’s not her…it’s you.

I don’t mean “you” as in you’re a bad person, well hopefully, you aren’t a bad person. I mean “you” as in how you present yourself on your dating profile.  Women judge you based on your message and dating profile in seconds.

What do you think the profile below says to a woman who reads it? It speaks volumes as to how serious this guy is about finding a relationship.

If you can’t hook her in with your dating profile and a good message, it’s game over.

What Do You Do When A Girl Rejects You; Solid Advice

If women ignore you online, you need to make changes.  Take stock of yourself and do the following:

• Change your dating profile – Mix it up. Try out new photos. Re-write your profile.  Have a female friend or two read it and ask for an honest no BS critique.
• Look at your messages – Are you confident? Engaging? Do you ask questions showing you read her profile? Or are you like most guys who say “Hey” or “How are you?”
• Focus on women you match up with – Don’t email a girl just because she’s hot. Make sure you match up with her interests. You’re wasting your time if you email a woman who lives an adventurous travel happy lifestyle and you share on your profile how you’re ready to settle down and start a family.
• Get help – It’s why you’re here right? Find blogs like mine (blatant self-advertising) and do a little research. The answers are out there.  You just gotta know where to look.

Final Thoughts

What do you do when a girl rejects you or dismisses your messages?  From this moment forward it’s easy; move on.

As I said at the beginning of this post, deal with it. It’s going to happen to you at some point.  Don’t dwell on it or let it frustrate you. Turn it around into a positive.

If you need to, do things that make you happy. We all have something that puts a smile on our face:

• Go to the gym.
• Meet a friend for a drink.
• Play with your dog.
• Shoot people on Call of Duty.
• Listen to music.
• Go on a hike.
• Eat a nice meal.
• Go see a movie.

Do whatever puts a smile on your face.  The point is let it go.

Dismiss the women who dismiss you. It’s their loss. Go out and find the cool women. Look for the “keepers” who want to get to know you. Trust me, they’re out there.

Always remember; when a woman rejects you it’s her loss.

Keep it Ninja!

Care to share your experiences? What do you do when a girl rejects you on your dating site? Leave your comments below.

Online Dating Advice For Men New To Online Dating

So you’re thinking about joining a dating site and looking for some good online dating advice? I’m going to share some tips to help you before you jump into the online dating pool.

The good news is there are millions of women online right now who are single and looking to meet someone. The bad news is the majority of men have no idea what they’re doing when they join a dating site and start off on the wrong foot.

If you’re new to online dating here are 10 tips with the best online dating advice so you aren’t completely lost going in.

1. Make An Effort On Your Profile

First impressions are everything. You shouldn’t have an incomplete or half-assed dating profile like these guys:

Both of the examples above show a complete lack of effort.  If your dating profile looks like either of these what do you think they say to women about the effort you’ll put into a relationship?  It’s a red flag.

The best online dating advice I can give is to put some effort into your dating profile. You’ll stand out because most men share nothing about themselves.  It’s funny because guys put up incomplete profiles and wonder why they aren’t meeting women.

Here are some tips when crafting your dating profile:

• Fill your profile completely.
• Use at least 6 photos on your dating profile.
• Check spelling/grammar errors on your profile and messages.
• Share your passions, hobbies, and interests on your profile.
• Add a few sentences describing the type of woman you are looking for.
• Avoid posting anything negative (ex: “I’m not here for games!”).
• Use a catchy username.
• Have a sense of humor and show some confidence.

2. Ghosting Happens

“Ghosting” is when someone you’re dating or trading emails with ends the relationship by cutting off all communication, without any explanation.  Yes, it happens. It happens often. And it’s going to happen to you, so deal with it.

There are going to be times when you’re trading emails with a woman and then she’s going to pull a Harry Houdini and vanish with no explanation.   It’s unfortunate that it’s become the modern version of saying “I’m not interested”. If you get ghosted, just move on.  Don’t dwell on it.  It’s her loss.

Should you ghost a woman or not?  That’s your call.  I would say if you get to the point of meeting a woman or swapping numbers, you should let her know you aren’t interested instead of vanishing.  However, if you trade 2 or 3 emails only and lose interest it’s OK to move on.  She’ll get the hint.

3. Ask Her Out

Don’t become an email buddy with women.  Grow a pair and ask a woman out within 5 emails.

Most men drag out emails and turn them into boring conversations. When your messages ask questions like “Anything fun planned this weekend?” or “How is your day going?” it’s time to cut to the chase and ask the woman out.

Women aren’t online for email buddies and neither are you. The problem of men taking too long to ask a woman out happens so much that eHarmony posted a blog article discussing this topic: Ladies: Get Your Match to Ask You Out!

Trade a few emails with a woman and ask her out. It’s simple.

4. Everyone Lies About Something

People tend to exaggerate about something on their profile.  In one study, 81% of online daters lied about their weight, height, or age.

Why do people lie?  They may not actually be trying to deceive someone but are trying to present themselves in the best possible way to attract a partner.  Shave a few years off their age.  Embellish a bit about their lifestyle.  All done to project themselves in the best possible light.

In 1987, E. Tory Higgins published an article, “Self-Discrepancy: A Theory Relating Self and Affect”, and argued there were three “domains of the self”:

• The actual self – attributes an individual possesses.
• The ideal self – attributes an individual would ideally possess.
• The ought self – attributes an individual ought to possess.

This is important because on dating sites people present a mixture of these selves on their dating profiles.  An example would be someone saying they love exercising outdoors but are more of a gym rat and haven’t been on a hike in years.

Someone may say they are spontaneous when they haven’t done a spontaneous thing in months.

Although people lie, they’re usually not deal-breakers.  A woman may say she’s in better shape than she is or shave a few years off her age but it’s not going to be something you’ll notice when you meet first hand.

This doesn’t mean you should lie about anything.  Don’t use 10-year-old photos or say you’re 5’10” when you’re 5’6″.  If you do things like these don’t be surprised if you meet a woman under these lies and you don’t get a second date.

5. Don’t Cast A Wide Net

Don’t email every woman expecting a response, especially if you don’t match up in terms of lifestyle. You’re in for disappointment if you email every woman you find hot without bothering to see if you actually match up.

Women are going to read through your profile with a fine toothed comb and if they see you don’t match up on certain things, they won’t reply.

An example is kids. Do you want kids? It’s a simple “yes” or “no.”  If you want kids and are emailing women who don’t want kids you’re going to have an empty inbox.

Use your sites filtering tool to look for traits that matter to you. This will help you focus on women you match up with. You’ll do better in the long run.

6. Date Multiple Women

You know the term “don’t put all your eggs in one basket?” It applies when you are on a dating site.

When I started online dating I would make the mistake of emailing multiple women, then dropping them all and focus on one hot one.  Maybe I was trading emails with other women or had gone on a date with one or two but would ignore them completely after the super hot one was in the picture.

The problem was I’d eventually meet the hot one and it didn’t workout.  In the meantime, I lost all the potential opportunities with the women who I had been meeting and messaging prior to the hot one. I stopped doing this and am warning you so you can avoid doing the same thing.

Keep your options open until you meet the woman you feel is right for you.  Until you meet the one woman you want to date exclusively continue to trade emails, talk, text, and date as many women as you like.

Don’t fall into a trap thinking because you’re emailing a woman that she’s going to date you so you can drop everyone else.

7. Adapt, Adapt, Adapt

One key piece of online dating advice you should follow is to change your dating profile every month or so. Add and remove photos.  Change your summary section.  Keep it fresh.

Also, if women aren’t responding to your messages or look at your profile and don’t message you, you definitely need to make changes.  This is when you need to adapt.

Most guys put up their dating profile and never change it.   They don’t see the results they want and it never dawns on them to change things up.

Change how you approach women in your messages and tweak your dating profile until you get the response rates you feel are good.

8. Help Is Out There

There are plenty of resources out there to help you when you have problems on your dating site.

This site for example. Yes, it’s a shameless plug but you can book mark this site or come back to it. Seriously, press “Command + D” or click “Bookmarks” at the top of the browser window and select Add Bookmark. There are a ton of tips here.

You can also visit sites like Reddit which has good online dating forum.

I’d stay away from dating site blogs. They’re geared to women and are nothing but fluff and success stories. Look at the blog for POF below. Do you see anything which would help you meet a woman off a dating site? The topics are awful.

Don’t be afraid to search out help if you are failing on dating sites.

9. You Get What You Pay For

Just because a dating site is free doesn’t mean it’s good.  A piece of online dating advice from yours truly is to use paid dating sites over free ones if you want to meet someone for a relationship.

This doesn’t mean free sites don’t work.  They do.  You can meet women on free sites but free sites also mean MORE men who are competing with you.  Also, women on paid sites are serious about meeting someone because they’re spending their hard earned money.

In the end, you can always create a free membership on most dating sites to scan their members.  Be sure to pick the “recently online option” when searching the female members to give you an idea of the number of women who are actively looking for a guy.

10. It’s OK To Take A Break

If you ever get tired of online dating, take a break. Believe me, it will happen at some point.

You may get frustrated, angry, or just tired of it.  It’s OK.  Take a time-out.  It can be a few days or a few weeks.

Hide your profile and do something else to take your mind off online dating; spend time with family or friends, join a Meetup, take a road trip, focus on you.

You’ll know when you’re ready to jump back in.

Final Thoughts

The best online dating advice I can give you is to get in there and just do it.  You have to put yourself out there at some point.

Keep these tips in the back of your head as you start out and you’ll not only get a leg up on other guys who are starting out but you’ll have a much better experience:

• • Make An Effort On Your Profile
  • Ghosting Happens
  • Ask Her Out
  • Everyone Lies About Something
  • Don’t Cast A Wide Net
  • Date Multiple Women
  • Adapt, Adapt, Adapt
  • Help Is Out There
  • You Get What You Pay For
  • It’s OK To Take A Break

Good luck and Keep It Ninja!

Please share your own online dating advice below.

When Should You Ask A Woman Out Online?

You should ask a woman out by 5th email. Get her number so you can call or text her and set up a date. If she prefers using a chat tool like KIK or Snapchat, that’s acceptable too.

The point is, it’s in your best interest to meet her sooner than later. You must take your conversations offline and actually meet.

The majority of men either take too long to ask a woman out or shoot themselves in the foot asking her out in their first message.

I always aim to get a woman’s number or chat ID by the 5th email. I’m not about wasting my time and neither should you. You aren’t online looking for a pen pal, are you? Didn’t think so.

Now that you know when you should ask a woman out, let’s discuss the WRONG approaches most men make when asking women out online.

Don’t Ask Women Out In Your First Message

When should you ask a woman out on your dating site? Not in your first message that’s for sure. Too many guys ask women out in the first email like this guy:

If there’s one thing I want to drill into your head here is NEVER ask a woman out in your first message. I’m all for cutting to the chase, but really, asking a woman out in a first email is a waste of your time.

Here are a few facts from Zoosk about words used in first date messages:

• Messages that use the word “date” receive 14% fewer responses.
• Messages that use the word “go out” receive 56% fewer responses.

Do you really think a woman who gets 20 or 30 messages a day is going to see a message like this and say “Yes, let’s meet!”

No, she’ll immediately delete your message and you’ll be left out in the cold.

You need to establish a connection in your emails. Show her you have common interests and are worth getting to know.

Don’t Take Too Long Either

Women don’t email buddies. While some men ask women out in the first message, others take the LONG approach and swap endless messages.

The issue of men taking too long to ask women out happens so often eHarmony posted a blog article about it: Ladies: Get Your Match to Ask You Out!

The blog post encourages women to drop hints to men to nudge them to meet them for a date.

Conversations are for dates, not your emails. If you take too long to ask women out the end result is they may lose interest. Even worse, some other guy may ask her out and she’ll go out with him because you dropped the ball.

It’s so bad women even indicate on their profiles that they aren’t there for email buddies:

• “Let’s meet up instead of being pen pals! I can only handle emailing a stranger so many times :)”
• “I’m not interested in being someone’s pen pal for months without having that initial meeting to see if there is chemistry.”
• “I’m looking for a relationship and not a texting buddy.”

You are shooting yourself in the foot when you drag out email exchanges. As soon as the first email is sent, the clock starts ticking; the odds of a successful date start to go down.

I covered this in a blog post where I discussed a study found there’s a tipping point where the longer you wait to meet, the less likely you’ll have a successful outcome. You can read it here:

https://www.ninjaonlinedating.com/blog/meeting-women-online/

The point is simple; take action. Don’t let your messages drone on.

When Should You Ask A Woman Out: Final Thoughts

It can be intimidating to ask a woman out. You don’t want to appear too eager but you don’t want to take too long to get her number either.

When should you ask a woman out on your dating site? Sooner than later. I aim for the 5th email.

Don’t be afraid or hesitate to ask a woman out. And don’t be the guy whose becomes an online pen pal. Ask her out already!.

What’s the worst that can happen? She says “no.” Great. You know where you stand so you can focus on someone else.

Now you know when the best time to ask a woman out. To discover how to ask a woman out on a dating site, check out my other blog post here: How To Ask A Woman Out On A Dating Site In 3 Simple Steps

Keep it Ninja!

What’s your take on when should you ask a woman out online? Leave your thoughts below.