The Best Tips for Chatting with Women on Bumble.
Keep the momentum going in conversation with women following these simple chatting tips for Bumble. Focusing on common interests, showing curiosity, and compliments will keep conversations from losing steam.
This post shares 10 chatting tips for Bumble that help your conversation with women. The tips below will boost your chances of connecting with women on the app.
- Put effort into your messages
- Compliment a woman's passion or lifestyle.
- Show curiosity (but don't turn it into a job interview).
- Focus on common interests.
- Aim for a one-to-one message ratio.
- Be patient during a conversation.
- Escalate the conversation.
- Don't take too long to respond to a woman's message.
- Pay attention (and look for clues to ask a woman out).
- Get the woman's number (so you can plan a date).
Pro-Tip: Your Bio is CRITICAL for success on Bumble.
If your Bumble profile stinks, you'll see mediocre results. Everything impacts your results on the app - photos, prompts, bio, and even the basics/interests sections.
You must use great pictures showcasing your lifestyle. A positive, fun, engaging bio will increase matches significantly. Sprinkle in some humor because if you can make a woman smile, you're off to a great start.
Below is an example of a compliment for my profile on Bumble. If you want messages like this, visit my Bumble Tips page sharing profile tips, how to get more matches, and more.
A great bio will prompt women to connect with you.
Bonus Tip: Verify yourself.
One final point - verify yourself on Bumble. A common complaint from women on dating apps is that men use older photos in their profiles.
Verifying yourself will put a woman's mind at ease. She'll know you're using current pictures, which will improve the likelihood of matching with women.
Verifying yourself confirms your photos are current.
1. Put effort into your messages.
One of the worst things you can do is send low-effort messages to women. You'll end up boring them and they'll quickly lose interest.
Below is a message from Tamara. On Bumble, women make the first move, and unfortunately, a lot of them send low-effort messages like this:
Many women put zero effort into their messages.
Yes, the woman didn't put effort into her message, but that doesn't mean it's acceptable for you to do the same thing. How would you respond to this? Most men respond, "Good, and you?" which is a terrible response.
Instead, look at my response to Tamara's opener. I respond casually, sharing something about myself and then pointing back to her, asking a question. I even include a funny line about a Bumble date.
Avoid a short sentence response - women appreciate a little effort.
In the following example, Tabby starts a conversation similar to the one above, using a generic opener. A common complaint from men is they receive low-effort icebreakers from women just like Tabby's.
Referencing a woman's bio is a great response on Bumble.
Yes, Tabby's opening message is bad and, honestly, boring. What matters to me is the conversation, not the opener.
My advice is simple - don't worry about a woman's opener to you; instead, focus on your response to her message. You should judge a woman by the ebb and flow of your conversation, not her icebreaker.
Pay attention to what I'm doing in my response to Tabby. I respond to her question but then pivot by asking about something she mentions in her bio - wine.
One of the best chatting tips for Bumble is showing effort in your messages. Good effort shows a woman you're investing in the conversation, which is a huge bonus with her.
2. Compliment a woman's passion or lifestyle.
I'm a fan of complimenting a woman during a conversation. Ideally, you should compliment something non-physical - her passions, interests, one of her prompt answers, sense of humor, etc.
People LOVE hearing compliments as long as they are sincere. So, if you find something that's cool, mention it.
For example, if you see a woman living an active lifestyle, you can say how you love that she's active. Maybe a woman has a great sense of humor in her bio; compliment her "verbal vibe."
You can even compliment a woman's photo (don't tell her how pretty she is). Tell her the picture is "fabulous" and ask about it.
Complimenting a woman's appearance is OK within certain limits. Telling a woman she "looks great in that dress" or how she has a nice smile is good.
Avoid telling a woman she's "gorgeous," "hot," "beautiful," or other similar terms. The majority of men tell an attractive woman how beautiful she is.
Generic compliments about a woman's looks never work and only lump you in with the masses of guys doing the same thing, and that's the last thing you want.
One of the best chatting tips for Bumble is a non-physical compliment to a woman. Lastly, avoid multiple compliments in a conversation - one or two is fine. Anything more than a handful is noticeable and off-putting.
3. Show curiosity (but don't turn it into a job interview).
An easy way to keep the momentum going in a conversation is by asking questions. The key is don't ask boring, non-engaging questions.
Keep your questions light - this isn't the time to ask a woman her thoughts on climate change or politics. Those types of topics are a little too much for your initial conversation.
Also, you want to avoid asking, "Anything fun planned for the weekend?" or "How's your day?" Men typically ask these types of questions and bore women to tears.
I like focusing on a woman's bio and looking for interesting things to mention. Anything she shares is fair game.
Below is an example with Crystal. She shares she enjoys whiskey in her bio, so I use that during the conversation, and guess what? She responds to my message.
Keep the momentum going by asking about something in a woman's bio.
If a woman doesn't share a lot about herself, one question I ask is what her favorite weekend activities are. This question allows me to find common interests we could have based on her answer.
In the example below, I ask Maria what she enjoys doing on the weekend. She gives me a list of things she does in her free time.
When a woman's bio is empty on Bumble, ask for her favorite weekend activities.
Asking a woman a question about her favorite weekend activities gives you tons of topics to continue the conversation. Focus on things you have in common.
I could use Maria's answer to pivot the conversation. Options include asking about her favorite place to see a concert or a recent band. Also, I could suggest we take a walk on the beach as a first date.
Don't hesitate to ask a woman what she enjoys doing on weekends or in her free time. She'll spoon-feed you things that keep the conversation going.
4. Focus on common interests.
A great chatting tip for Bumble is discussing common interests in your conversation. Focusing on common interests gives you something to talk about and can create a connection with women.
You can look for clues in a woman's bio and photos. An under-the-radar tip is looking at her profile traits - I focus on alcohol, pets, hometown, etc.
Bumble also allows people to select interests that are displayed in a visual form. You can see these in the "My interest" section (see below) and mention them in your conversation.
A woman's interest section can help keep the conversation going.
Pets, hobbies, traveling, cooking, hiking, movies, music, etc., are great ways to show common interests with a woman. Scan her profile for things you can use to keep the conversation going.
Below is an example with Elina. She shares that she's active in her bio and enjoys hiking. I use hiking as a way to show we have common interests.
Focus on common interests in your conversations on Bumble
Note how I share something about myself regarding the topic I ask about - this is critical. Most men say, "we have common interests," which is a blunder.
Pets, hobbies, traveling, cooking, hiking, movies, music, etc., are great ways to show common interests with a woman. Scan her profile for things you can use to keep the conversation going.
Again, one of the best chatting tips for Bumble is sharing something about yourself regarding the question you ask in a message. In my message above, I share a favorite hiking spot after asking Elina for hers.
It's simple - ask a question (or comment), then share something about yourself. You can do this with anything:
- If a woman shares that she enjoys traveling, ask about a recent adventure and share one of yours.
- When asking a woman about her dog, share something about yours.
- Maybe a woman writes how she loves concerts - ask her if she's seeing anything in the future and share a concert you recently attended or plan on attending.
- If a woman went to the same college or is from the same hometown, mention it in your conversation.
- Maybe you see a woman who likes wine. Ask about her favorites while sharing yours.
Make sense? It's so easy doing this and effectively keeps a woman engaged in the conversation.
5. Aim for a one-to-one message ratio.
There should be a natural ebb and flow to a conversation. Your messages should match the woman's, meaning if she sends you a message, don't send three back. It's a one-to-one message ratio.
Think of a conversation on Bumble like a tennis match. The woman serves the ball (the icebreaker), and you hit it back (your response).
From there, your messages should line up. A woman sends you a message; you send one back, and she sends another, and you respond in kind. Make sense?
Conversations should NEVER be one-sided. You may scare a woman away if you send four messages in a row.
A common mistake on dating apps is overeager men bombarding a woman with messages once they match. Play it cool. Calm down. Relax. This ties into my next tip.
6. Be patient during a conversation.
As I mentioned above, the message ratio should be equal in a conversation. If a woman sends a message, respond accordingly.
What do you do if a woman doesn't immediately respond? Or maybe your conversation is going great, and she disappears.
Relax, it's going to happen. Just because you're chatting with a woman doesn't mean you're her priority right now.
We all have a life. Maybe the woman has an issue with family, work, a pet, or some other emergency. It may be painful to hear, but she may be interested in another guy and focusing on him, and you're a backup. You don't know.
So, be cool. Don't be overeager and start sending multiple messages - you'll appear needy and insecure, which is a major turnoff for women.
If a woman doesn't respond to your latest message, wait a few days. Then, give her a nudge like I do below.
You can save a conversation using humor.
Don't send more messages if a woman doesn't respond to your latest message! Let it be. Again, patience can pay off in the long run
A lot of guys get insulted and end the conversation with the woman. Even worst, some guys send nasty messages to women.
I never do that because I know that most women have other stuff going on - again, you are NOT their priority. I cannot tell you how many women have sent me a message a week or more after my message.
Don't overreact if a woman takes her time responding. Show patience because it may pan out in the end if you don't overreact.
7. Escalate the conversation.
Your conversation shows your interest level in a woman. Be friendly, confident, have fun, be personable, curious, etc.
And lastly, escalate the conversation - push it to where you want it to go. One of the most critical chatting tips for Bumble is flirting.
Be direct in your conversation because it shows confidence. Humor is great too, but don't overuse it - women love a man who makes them laugh but don't want a comedian.
It takes time to develop the skillset for flirting. Here are examples of things you can say during a conversation.
- "I love the photo with the black dress. Is that what you'll wear on our first date?"
- "You have a great smile. I bet it's even better in person."
- "Are you flirting with me? It takes more than a pretty face to win me over."
What about sex? It's OK to sexualize the conversation, but it's risky too.
Flirty banter is good; asking for raunchy pictures or asking a woman if she's DTF is not! If you offend a woman, she may end the conversation, ghost you, or worse, report you to the app.
So be careful - if you sexualize the conversation too early, you'll scare women away. However, you'll always fail if you wait too long to flirt and play the "nice guy" approach.
There's a fine line between generating attraction and being creepy. When a conversation starts, it doesn't mean the woman's ready to immediately meet you.
You've captured her interest, but the conversation is where you must pass the test. She's figuring out whether she likes you or not.
Take chances and never overthink it. When you sit there spending time worrying, "What should I say," you'll only create doubt and play it safe.
Humor is a great way to escalate a conversation.
8. Don't take too long to respond to a woman's message.
On Bumble, women cannot stand wishy-washy men. Women have no patience for men who have no intention of meeting - these types of guys seemingly only want to be penpals.
One of the best chatting tips for Bumble is to take action. Make your move, for goodness sake.
For example, when a woman sends you a message, respond! Don't let her message sit there without a response, as I do below.
Respond to a woman quickly, or she may move on to someone else.
The woman above calls me out for not responding. Luckily, she didn't unmatch because many women will end the conversation when you take too long to reply.
If you try and play it cool or make a woman wait, she may take it as a sign that you're not interested and unmatch with you. Or worse, some other guy will swoop in and take the focus away from you.
9. Pay attention (and look for clues to ask a woman out).
A woman will send signs she's interested in a date during a conversation with you. Pay attention and read the signals - then you can jump into action so you can ask her out on a date.
For example, if you tell a woman, you know a great place for happy hour, and she says she's never been there, tell her you'll take her there for a drink. Subtle things like this can quickly springboard the conversation to the next step - planning to meet
Maybe you mention how you have a board game night with friends, and she says she loves board games. You can talk about setting up a game night in the future.
There are many ways women share they're open to doing something with you. Here are a few examples of what a woman may say in a message:
- "That sounds like fun."
- "I've never been there."
- "I love (XYZ)" - XYZ can be music, sushi, margaritas, etc.
- "We should do that sometime."
Pay attention to a woman's message during your conversation. Look for an opening to ask her out.
Below is an example where Rachel mentions a specific sushi place. Note how she says she's never been there - this is the perfect opportunity to ask her out or get her number.
Look for clues to ask a woman out in your conversations.
10. Get the woman's number (so you can plan a date).
Your primary goal on Bumble is meeting a woman. Then take action and get her off the app - I recommend getting her phone number quickly.
I don't ask a woman out on a date on Bumble - my goal is to get her number first. Only after I get the woman's number will I ask (and plan) the date.
Getting a woman's phone number is a more direct way to communicate. Women are more likely to talk or text with you via their phones.
So, when there's a natural ebb and flow to the conversation, ask the woman for her phone number. If you hesitate, she may become irritated and think you don't want to meet in person.
Be direct and avoid asking for permission when getting a woman's number. Too often, men say, "Would you like to text" or "Maybe we can text." Those sentences show a complete lack of confidence.
Below is an example of how you should get a woman's number on Bumble. Note I'm not asking for permission; I'm telling her we should swap numbers.
Don't ask for a woman's permission when getting her number.
Lastly, plan the date with the woman once you get the phone number. If you take too long, you may lose her forever because of your lack of effort.
Final Thoughts
You must keep the momentum going in your conversations with women. Use the chatting tips as a reference for your conversations on Bumble - they can sway a woman's decision to meet for a date.
Want more tips for meeting women on Bumble? Visit my page dedicated to Bumble that is full of tips for men: Ninja Online Dating - Tips for Bumble.