5 Reasons Your Conversations Lose Steam On Dating Apps
The reasons men's conversations lose steam on dating apps include a lack of chemistry, boring conversations, and guys show no desire actually to meet. You can avoid things like these with a little foresight.
Does this sound familiar? You meet a woman on Tinder, and the conversation is going well, then slowly, you notice her responses taper off. She responds less and less and ultimately not at all. You end up frustrated, wondering, "What the hell? What did I do wrong?"
Relax. It happens. It's a common occurrence for everyone who uses a dating app. Sometimes it is preventable, while other times, it's not.
Why do some of your conversations fizzle out? Here are 5 reasons men's conversations lose steam on dating apps. You will never fully fix this problem, but you can certainly lower the odds of this happening to you in the future with a little insight.
1. Your conversations are boring.
OK, the hard part out of the way; getting a response to your icebreaker. The next step is keeping your conversation going strong.
Your strategy should be keeping women engaged in the conversation. Ask something interesting. Show curiosity in your messages because women will see you're genuinely interested in getting to know them.
Don't ever ask, "How are you?" or "How's your day going?" These types of messages show zero effort and are at a very generic level. Come on; these are things people say when you order fast food.
If you ever find yourself running out of things to say on a dating app, get creative. You can ask things like these:
- What's your favorite thing to do on the weekend?
- What type of shows are you watching right now?
- How do you like spending your Friday nights?
Put thought into your messages. Give women something interesting to respond to in your message.
Below is an example where I ask a woman what she enjoys doing on the weekend. Note her answer - she gives me many topics I can dive into later in the conversation.
Asking a woman what she does for fun on the weekend is a great way to keep your conversation from losing steam.
2. You become an online dating pen pal.
Why are you on a dating app? You joined to meet someone, right? Unfortunately, a lot of guys drag out conversations, turning it into a slog.
I don't know why men do this. Either they miss the signals, lack confidence, or have no desire to meet.
If you want to meet women, there's no reason to drag out conversations. A common problem for women on dating apps is men who drone on endlessly and never ask them out. Step up and ask them out.
Sure, some women are on dating apps seeking validation, but most are there for a reason; to meet a guy. That guy can be you, so don't be wishy-washy.
You must escalate the process - Get the woman off the dating app. Ask for her number and talk, text, or do a video chat. It's easy.
Women are tired of men who text endlessly on dating apps.
Do you want tips for how to avoid becoming a potential pen pal on dating apps? Check out my blog post, How To Avoid Becoming An Online Dating Pen Pal With Women.
3. The woman isn't actively using the app.
Everyone uses dating apps differently. Some women are on them daily, others check it a few times a week, while others less so.
Life happens. Just because you're actively using a dating app doesn't mean the woman you're chatting with uses it like you.
You want to respect a woman's space. At the same time, don't waste your time with someone who isn't respecting your time as well. That's why it's best to get her off the app and get her phone number as quickly as possible.
Let's be clear; women are not obligated to respond to your messages. If you send a message to a woman, it's OK if she doesn't respond immediately or an hour after you send it.
But, if you feel that the woman responds sporadically and you aren't feeling respect, move on. Find a woman who gives you the attention you deserve.
Some women don't respond to messages because some are not actively using the app.
4. The woman is talking to other guys.
Never assume you're the only guy a woman is chatting with online. I can assure you; she isn't fully invested in you yet.
When a woman is messaging you, she is likely chatting up other men on dating apps, probably talking/texting with a handful, and possibly going on dates. Her focus isn't 100% on you.
It's part of the dating game. That's why it's best to keep women engaged in your conversations.
When you keep a woman interested, challenge her, make her laugh, show curiosity, and escalate, she will shift focus from other men towards you.
You get what you put into online dating - most men fail because they half-ass it. Crank it up a notch in your conversations. Don't be afraid to flirt.
You can't keep asking a woman what her plans are for the weekend or how her day is going. Women lose interest (see rule # 1 above) and may end up focusing on someone else. Keep that in the back of your mind as you message women.
5. There is zero chemistry between you two.
Sometimes, as the conversation continues with a woman, you realize there's no chemistry. The conversations starts with a bang, but the energy and "back and forth" slowly dies.
Where does the chemistry go? Why does this happen? It's not your fault. As you talk to someone, one of you may realize that you both aren't a match for each other.
Is there a way to prevent this? No. Just be you. Never be who you think women want you to be.
It happens and will happen, but don't let that frustrate you. Keep at it, and you'll eventually meet women where you won't have this problem.
Final Thoughts
It doesn't matter if you're a newbie to online dating or a seasoned veteran; conversations lose steam at some point. Women fade out; it happens.
It's OK if some conversations fizzle out, but if 100% of them happen, it's time to work on your conversation skills. Hopefully, this post helps you identify potential causes for your conversations losing steam.
The best thing you can do is focus on your conversations. Keep women engaged, escalate the conversations, show confidence, humor, and ask questions!
Practice, practice, practice. Take chances. Step outside your comfort zone. You will get better at this once you identify mistakes you are making.