3 Common First Message Blunders Men Make With Women

Why don’t women respond to your messages? The reason is that you’re making mistakes in which kill any chance of success. The list of first message blunders is vast but there are 3 that will doom your response rates.

You get one chance to make a great first impression so don’t screw it up.  Be sure you aren’t doing any of the blunders below.

1. Laziness

Topping the list of the biggest first message blunders is putting forth very little effort. Examples include one-word messages like these:

• hey
• hi
• hello
• how are you?
• what’s up?
• how’s it going?
• what are you up to?

Women receive messages like these daily.

I know a lot of guys think it’s a numbers game so it’s easier to simply write one of these types of messages and maybe if they’re lucky, they’ll get a response or two.  That’s the wrong approach.

Lazy messages are a bad idea because they rarely, if ever, work.  These messages show women you could care less about getting to know them and you’re just another jerk online.

Sending messages that are low effort shows the amount of effort you’ll put into a relationship which is none.  Don’t do it.

2. Physical Complements

Stay away from complimenting a woman’s looks.  It’s a terrible approach and shows you just value a woman’s looks. Attractive women receive messages like this by the bunch:

Keep words like these out of your messages:

• beautiful
• sexy
• hot
• attractive
• gorgeous
• stunning
• cute

Dude, women get called these so much they come across as what they are; pickup lines.  Congratulations, by complementing a woman’s looks you’ve immediately thrown yourself in with the group of guys who do the same thing which means your chances of getting a response is zero.

And don’t try to crowbar a compliment into your message.   As an example, don’t start an actual conversation than at the end of your message tell her how hot she is.  It never works.  Again, she’ll roll her eyes and think to herself, “Great.  Another guy who just cares about my looks.”  And in that instant, any hope you had of starting a conversation is gone.

3. I Recognize You

Never tell a girl you recognize her from another dating site. In fact, don’t bring it up in the second, third, or any message period. There are several reasons why:

• It can put them on the defensive.
• It looks like you have nothing original to say.
• It looks like you are some sort of online dating stalker.

The woman knows she’s on a dating site and doesn’t need you pointing it out.  It’s a bad first impression.

Redditors Weigh In On Calling Women Out For Being On Other Dating Sites

I asked Redditors if it’s OK to call out a girl if you’ve seen her on another dating site and these women are spot on as to why you should never do it.  Here are their responses:

“You talk about things you have in common because it starts a conversation. How’s the “I saw you on Tinder too” conversation supposed to go?”

“I was chatting with someone on OKC and also online POF at the same time. He sent me a message on POF that said “gotcha”. It creeped me out, I mean I had only been chatting for about 2 messages on OKC and he was already acting like I was cheating whore.”

“I don’t mind when guys mention it. He’s obviously on those other sites too. For the most part though, it’s guys writing me on one asking why I didn’t write them back on the other. So while I don’t “mind” it, it isn’t a conversation starter.”

“You’ve never asked someone in real life, “Hey, didn’t I see you at Joe’s party last Saturday?” Or “Weren’t you at the XYZ concert?”.”

“I don’t see the point in saying anything.”

“…he used it to essentially say, “You’re looking in all these different places so you’re clearly desperate, why don’t you just give me a chance?”

“I didn’t care, but I could see why it’s a pointless and annoying thing to point out.”

Final Thoughts

Your first message to women can make or break you.  You’re shooting yourself in the foot if you commit any of these first message blunders:

1. Being lazy in your first message.
2. Complimenting a woman’s looks.
3. Calling a woman out for being on multiple dating sites.

These are horrible icebreakers.  A better approach is to comment on something you read in her dating profile.