10 Steps That Ensure A Successful First Date
Keys to a successful first date include having a place in mind, being punctual, and a good conversation, to name a few. It's not rocket science to have a great first date, yet many men make huge blunders crushing any hope of a second date.
Here's your 10 step guide for a successful first date. Follow the steps below, and you can rest easy knowing you did your best and can easily transition to a second date.
1. Pick a location already.
The first key to a successful first date is asking the woman out correctly. By the time you agree to meet, you should know what a woman likes. During your conversations, you should ask a woman what she enjoys doing, her favorite cocktail, etc.
You also know the area the woman lives or works by now as well. This allows you to pick a place that's convenient for both of you. The first date location should be halfway between you or somewhere convenient after work.
Have a place and time in mind for your first date. When you propose a place, it's as simple as, "Let's meet Thursday at (location) at 7." The woman will immediately let you know if she's free. Usually, a woman will propose an alternative if she can't meet that time.
Wherever you meet, don't make the woman drive out of her way. Remember, keep it convenient for her unless she's OK with driving farther.
I recommend drinks or coffee as a first date. Don't do dinner dates because there's nothing worse than meeting someone, and there's no chemistry. Suddenly you're stuck together for dinner. Drinks or coffee are quick and painless.
A little foresight is important too. I like picking places that have cool things nearby or within walking distance. If you decided to continue your date (see # 8 below), you have options for continuing the date.
A nice small bar is a great location for a first date.
2. Confirm your date.
Don't leave a woman hanging as your date approaches. You should confirm with her the day before. If you leave her in the dark, she may think you're not interested and make other plans.
If you wait until the day of your date, confirm that morning at the latest. Don't wait until 4PM to ask if you're still on for your 7 PM date.
Come on, fellas, it's not that difficult. It's just being courteous and respectful. Women appreciate that.
3. Don't show up late to your date.
First impressions are critical, so don't blow it by showing up late. Make it a point to arrive early for all your dates. It's better to be early than late.
You can either meet her out front of the location of your date or wait inside. Text her, letting her know if you're outside or in front.
I like saying, "Hey, I'm here. I'll meet you outside. Just look for the really good looking guy... that's me! :-)"
If you go inside to grab a table, don't order any food or drinks. Wait for your date to arrive. Getting waters for the table is OK.
4. Dress appropriately for the first date.
You must be presentable if you want a successful first date. If you're meeting for happy hour, jeans and a nice shirt works. If you're meeting after work, hopefully, you have good work attire. If not, change after work into some nicer clothes.
Maybe you meet a woman at the beach for a first date. It's OK to show up in shorts and a nice t-shirt. Again, be presentable. I don't recommend tank tops shirts.
Remember, first impressions are critical. There are no second chances. Don't show up sloppy and unkempt.
Make sure to clean yourself up for your first date.
5. How to greet your date.
As you see your date approaching, look at her in the eyes and smile. A smile is a wonderful introduction - it's one of the first things women look at.
One big question is, do you hug or offer a handshake when meeting for your date? It's best to read the woman's energy. You should have a feel and go with your gut.
I always go for the hug. Make sure it's a quick hug. Don't be creepy with your hugs; no grab-assing or long hugs. That can make things awkward, really quick.
If the woman extends her hand for a handshake, it's OK. There's nothing wrong with a handshake.
For more insight into how you should greet a woman on a first date, visit my blog post, Do You Go For A Hug Or Handshake On A First Date With Women?
Lastly, if you enter a crowded place, be sure to lead. Guide your date through the bar or restaurant. You don't want to go for her hands but definitely stick close to her and let her follow you as you make your way around.
6. Be loose, have fun, and show curiosity!
During the date, you want to be respectful, yet charming, fun, and loose. There should be a natural ebb and flow to your conversation.
Tips for a successful first date include maintaining eye contact, but not in a creepy way. Ask questions to show the woman you're curious about her. Ask her about her favorites - sports, movies, foods, local hotspots, drinks, etc.
Don't want to turn the date into a job interview and interrogate her. You want a natural organic conversation. Turn on the charm! Hopefully, you can put a smile on her face.
Keep the conversations light and fun. Don't dive into politics. Also, don't talk too much about past relationships. Ultimately, most women ask you when was your last relationship or if you've been married. It's a good idea to say it just didn't work out and move on.
7. Who pays the check?
When the check comes, you should pay. I'm old school and believe that when you ask a woman out, you pay the bill.
Most women will offer to pay half when the bill arrives. Politely tell her, "no." One thing I like doing is telling her she can buy the first round on the next date.
Even better, if you decide to extend the date (more on that below), tell her she can buy the first round at the net spot you visit.
If you want more information about who should pay the bill on a first date, visit my blog post, Should A Guy Pay On A First Date Or Split The Bill? Experts also weigh-in, so it's worth checking out.
8. Extend the date or not?
If the vibe is right... if the connection is there. You can extend the date. That's why picking a location with fun things near it (#1 above), is so important.
You can grab dessert somewhere else, a drink, challenge her to a game of pool, go for a walk, etc. The skies the limit depending on where you meet.
Test the waters asking the woman, "What are your plans for the rest of the night?" then playfully challenge her to darts at a nearby pub or ask if she wants to grab a drink dessert somewhere.
Make sure to clean yourself up for your first date.
9. How to end the date.
Once the date ends, you should walk the woman to her car. If she's getting a Lyft, wait with her until it arrives. A little chivalry goes a long way.
Do you kiss, hug, or handshake when the date ends? You should be able to read her vibe. At the least, go for the hug. Don't make it awkward, though.
Lastly, before she leaves, tell her to text your to let you know she made it home safely. It shows you're a gentleman. Believe me, most men don't do this, so you will stand out.
If you don't hear from your date within an hour or so, text her that you made it home and had a great time and leave it at that.
10. Follow up with your date.
It's a good idea to let the woman know you had a great time with her. Ideally, you should tell her after she lets you know she made it home.
The morning after the date, you should tell the woman you want to see her again. You don't have to pick a date or location at this point, but just let her know your intentions.
Do not ask a woman for permission. An example is, "would you like to hang out again?" Instead, say, "I had a blast. We need to hang out again." It's confident.
Lastly, be realistic about your first date before letting her know you had a good time. Did she smile, laugh, flirt, touch your arm, etc. Were the conversations good? Hopefully, you get a good read on her and aren't under the impression that she wanted the date to end.