How To Ask A Woman Out On A Dating Site
Asking a woman out on a dating site is easy; "Send me your number." Simple. Seriously, I'm going to show you how to ask a woman out on a dating site using 3 steps that are a surefire way to succeed.
First, NEVER ask women out in your first message like these guys:
You have to establish chemistry and generate attraction with women. Asking a woman out in your first message is a surefire way to get ignored. It's like asking a woman to marry you on the first date which is a bad idea.
On the flip-side, you don’t want to drag your conversations out so long that women lose interest. You never want to become an online pen pal. You need a strategy when it comes to asking a woman out.
Asking a woman out is pretty easy, and I’m going to show you how to do it. Follow the steps below, and you'll discover precisely how to ask a woman out on a dating site.
Your Only First Date Option is Cocktails or Coffee
I highly recommend meeting for drinks or coffee for your initial meeting. That’s it. You don’t want your first date to be one of these:
- Meeting for dinner
- Going on a hike
- Taking both your dogs to a dog park
- Going to a street fair
- Attending an art show
All of these are nonsense. Drinks or coffee. That’s it! Look, the first date is to ensure there are chemistry and attraction.
If you don’t feel "it," a quick date allows you to have a drink and then go. There's nothing worse than a dinner date where there is zero attraction. And if you hit it off, you can extend your date or take it elsewhere.
Now that you know why you should only meet for drinks or coffee, it's time to go through the steps of how to ask a woman out on a dating site.
Step 1: See If She Is A Social Drinker
What I like to do is in my first or second email is to ask a woman what her favorite drinks is. The majority of women share their social drinkers somewhere in their profile:
You can also look for signs a woman is a social drinker in her photos like the one below.
If you see anything like these in a woman’s profile, you MUST ask her what her favorite drink is. The reason is you’re going to bring the subject back up in a future email which I discuss in step 3 below.
But wait, what if she doesn’t drink alcohol or doesn’t want to drink on the first date? Or what if you don’t drink alcohol? A coffee shop is a good alternative.
Step 2: Trade A Few Emails To Establish Interest
The next few emails are where you ask a few questions and show you have common interests. You have to build a rapport. Show the woman you’re worth getting to know.
Don’t be boring and ask questions like "How’s your night going?" or "How are you today?" Instead, ask her questions to show her you’re interested and give enough back to pique her interest.
Remember, you aren’t on a dating site to engage in long-winded email conversations. The longer you delay, the more a woman loses interest. The step should only be 3-4 emails.
Step 3: Ask Her Out
Don’t dilly-dally. It's time to ask her out. Pay attention here. Remember how you asked her what her favorite drink is in Step 1 above? Now it’s time to bring up her favorite drink in your message. Let’s say you ask a woman her favorite drink and she says it’s a "Merlot." When you ask her out, be sure to include the fact she enjoys wine:
"I know a great place that has amazing Merlots. There’s nothing better than a nice glass of wine with good company, right? Send me your number so we can do this."
"Meeting for a drink sounds good, right? There’s a place I’ve always wanted to try that’s supposed to have a good wine selection. Let’s meet there. Let’s trade numbers."
Let’s analyze what I am doing here. She has already told me her favorite drink is a Merlot. Think about that, favorite things bring a positive association in the mind. Happy thoughts. Good vibes. This is what you want.
Then, notice how I ask questions but give her the answer using the term "right" here: There’s nothing better than a nice glass of wine with good company, right?
Of course, she’s going to think "yes" to this. I’m structuring the question in a way that gets her to think "yes." It's a total ninja approach to asking a woman out because I’m getting her to agree without her knowing it.
Now, if she doesn’t drink or you don’t drink, choose a cool coffee shop. Stay away from Starbucks or other chains unless you have no other option. I prefer cooler, hip, coffee shops for some reason but that’s me.
Be Direct And Show Confidence
I can’t emphasize this enough; be assertive and shows confidence when asking a woman for her number. Look, the woman is interested if she’s trading emails with you so suck it up and get the number. Too many men write things like this:
- "If you are interested send me your number."
- "Maybe we can meet for coffee if you are free this weekend?"
- "Can you give me your number?"
Avoid words like "if," "can," and "maybe." They give the woman an "out" because she can say "no" and the words show zero confidence. What’s the worse she can do, say "no?" Big deal.
Use sentences like this:
- "Send me your number…"
- "Let’s trade numbers…"
- "Here’s my number 555-5555, send me yours…"
Notice the difference?
You can see below how I use the phrase in this message on Hinge. The result is the woman gives me her phone number.
Final Thoughts
How to ask a woman out on a dating site is simple. You just need to create your own process. Remember these points:
- Never ask women out in your first message.
- Don’t become a pen pal with women online.
- Ask her out by the 5th email.
- Ask women out with confidence; don’t use words like "if" or "maybe."
Repeat these over and over and over. You will get the hang of it. Don’t dilly dally and take too long. Believe me, some other guy is following my pattern and will meet her before you do if you choose to trade emails with her hourly.
Now that you know how to ask a woman out on a dating site get to it. Do you want to know when you should ask a woman out? Go here to discover when you should ask a woman out on a dating site.
Keep it Ninja!
Feel free to leave your thoughts below.
