How To Calm Your Nerves Before A First Date

Does the thought of an upcoming date with a woman have you churning and on edge? Well, rest easy.

A study by the University of Cambridge has advice for you regarding how to calm your nerves before a first date.

The tips include:

Let your negative thoughts go rather than to dwell on them – If you keep negative thoughts in your head, you may produce a negative mindset. This will prevent you from putting your best foot forward on your date. When you start having negative thoughts in your head; let it go.

Focus on your breathing – Tying into the tip above; let all negative thoughts go. A simple technique to help is to breath. Simply let go and bring your mind gently back to your breaths. This meditative technique will relax you and make you feel calmer.

Go on more dates – Repeated exposure to things that scare you actually help you get over them the study found. Over time your fear will lessen and your confidence will grow. This is why it’s in your best interest to go on as many dates as possible.

Focus on the other person – Don’t worry about how you look or how hot the other person is. You want to find out if the person you are meeting is actually worth pursuing. The more you find out about her, the more you’ll know if she’s worth pursuing.

As the study pointed out, “The only thing worse than being in a bad relationship for a year is being in a bad relationship for a year and a day.”

How Redditor’s Calm Their Nerves

The 4 tips above are very good advice.

I wanted to hear what other people thought about these tips so it turned to Reddit.

Reddit is a great way to get opinions about anything as people never hold back their opinions.

I put the question out to Reddit members asking them about how to calm your nerves before a first date.

The answers varied. Have a look below.

Redditor’s React To Study

“Once you go on enough dates, you realize that 95% of them are the same shtick. Drinks, what do you do for work, what do you do for fun, oh my god I was at that same concert. Do you know that guy, what’s his name… John? Yeah! We have so much in common holy shit!”

“Cant recall being nervous before a first date. I have been nervous for plenty of second dates, though.”

“Most people drink beforehand.”

“Dating a lot of women naturally made me much more comfortable on first dates. Go with the flow. Either they’ll be into you or they won’t be, and if they’re not, that’s fine and you’ll be fine. But yeah, have a drink or 3.”

“I don’t get first date nerves that are anywhere near a problem.”

“First dates aren’t important enough to bother me much. I get a bit of butterflies right before I see her for the first time but that’s about it. I probably get more butterflies on the second date because I have a bit more at stake. But once we start talking all of that goes away.”

“The first few first dates I went on after being newly single, I had a beer before each date and it’s totally a fair strategy as long as you hold it to one drink and don’t get loaded. All of those tips you list are the right ones.”

“I agree with everyone and have a drink. Those tips from the article are definitely worth a try. No one has mentioned this yet, but masturbate before. Good luck…”

“…meditation is my go-to for any stressful situation…”

“Focus on the other person.”

“Mainly this. I’m nervous if I’m preoccupied with thoughts like will he like me?, what if he thinks I’m weird? what if I embarrass myself? When I focus on what I think of him, and just enjoying where I am, the nerves are barely there.”

“Going on more dates part did it for me. Also, I try to get into the mentality that I’m meeting a friend that I have not seen in a long while. Remove the stranger anxiety.”

“The nerves keep me talking. I embrace it. And then I start drinking.”

“First date I ever had (which was earlier this year), I took a shot of whiskey before walking out of the door. It didn’t really do anything, it was a placebo effect if anything. Since then, I’ve just braved it. EVERYONE gets nervous…….Just turn up, be yourself, and have zero expectations. If they don’t like you, that’s their problem.”

“The only thing I’d add is to remind yourself half the battle is already over. You got the date. That indicates that the person you are with is already interested in you in some way, shape or form, so you’re golden. Just take a breath, remind yourself that you’re awesome, and do your thing. Keep it simple.”

“I sing along to Usher very loudly in the car on the drive over. Once the date’s started, my nerves are gone. But I’m not some who really suffers much from stage fright.”

“I tell myself I’m meeting up with a friend.”

“Honestly, re-framing how I think about the date has really lessened first date nerves. I focus on whether or not I like the other person and whether or not I’m having a good time instead of worrying that they don’t like me. It helps.”

“Unpopular opinion with this thread, but I don’t think drinking before is a great idea. I feel this is a good way to exacerbate bad habits. Order a drink when you get there and by the end of the small talk you’ll be sippin’ on a cold one and good to go.”

“I know I’ll be nervous anyway so I just kind of hope for the best.”

“Once they show up I’m done being nervous.”

“I’ve been on so many first dates that nerves aren’t a factor. They’re just people like you. Talk to them.”

“I’ve been on so many first dates that I don’t get nervous anymore. But yeah, alcohol helps.”

Final Thoughts

I’ve been on so many dates over the years I’m never nervous anymore but I do think the study findings offer good advice.

It’s normal to be a little nervous before a first date.

If you ever have any jitters simply remember the following:
Focus on your breathing
Let your negative thoughts go rather than to dwell on them
Go on more dates
Focus on the other person

Take the studies advice and don’t become so nervous that you forget to actually see if you want a relationship with the person you’re meeting.

Are they really worth pursuing and spending your time with?

Remember, the study points out “the only thing worse than being in a bad relationship for a year, is being in a bad relationship for a year and a day.”

I couldn’t have said it any better.



Leave your comments below. I would love to hear your thoughts on how to calm your nerves for a first date.