Your first message to a girl is critical and it’s important you don’t screw it up.  Most men fail to get responses to their messages but it’s easy to start conversations with women if you follow these 5 simple tips.

Remember, the sole purpose of your first message is to start a conversation so don’t get too personal, keep it light and friendly, inject humor and confidence and you’ll be on your way to trading emails with women.

Be sure to read the entire post because I share actual messages to women on OkCupid which started conversations.

Most men take the easy approach and write messages like this:

Approaches like this show a complete lack of effort and never work.  I’ve covered this in a previous blog post, What Are First Message Blunders To Women On Dating Sites?

The problem is so bad, some women tell you to put some effort into your messages:

Dating sites confirm using one-word opening messages don’t work.  OkCupid found if you write "hey" women will ignore you 84% of the time.  

However, men fail to grasp this concept and instead continue to send horrible opening messages.  There’s a better approach to creating the perfect first message to a girl.  Sure, it takes more effort but the rewards are huge.

Duh!  I shouldn’t even have to tell you this but the key to a good first message to a girl is to read her dating profile.  Focus on her text section.  Avoid commenting on her photos because most guys take that approach.

The idea is to read her dating profile so your message will center on things she writes about herself.

As you read her profile look for things you can use to start conversations. Anything she shares in her text section is fair game. Focus on her actual text section because it shows two things:

1.  You took the time to get to know her.
2.  You’re aren’t all about her looks.

For example, I enjoy the outdoors, enjoy wine/drinks, cooking, and the beach to name a few things.  If a woman shares she enjoys any of these hobbies on her dating profile I will use one of these topics to start the conversation.

You can look for specific words to base your first message on.  In the example below, I noticed the word "books" and would use that as a conversation starter because I also enjoy reading books.

Always keep your eyes open for hobbies/passions/interests you share with the woman whose profile you’re reading.  You only need one or two for your message.

Creating the first message to a girl is simple; what you’re going to do is simply ask questions about one or two things you identified in step 2.

If she shares her name start your message by addressing her by her first name.  You’re strangers so you don’t want to jump into the conversation.  It’s better to address her by her name.

Next, write a few sentences asking questions and sharing a little bit about yourself as well.  When you ask a woman a question about something and then share something about yourself she’ll be more likely to respond because you’ve shared information about yourself regarding the question you just asked.

So, if you see a woman enjoys traveling you can use that as a conversation starter and share your last travel adventure or tell her where you plan on going next.

Maybe you read a profile and the woman shares she enjoys going to museums.  If you enjoy museums as well, bring up the last exhibit you went to. Make sense?

This is short and simple. Make sure you don’t have any spelling errors.  Women actually appreciate a guy who can spell.  I once had a woman respond to my message because I spelled “a lot” correctly.

This isn’t the time for texting lingo either.  Your message is an indication of your intellect so you don’t want to appear uneducated.

Grammar and spelling apply not only to your messages but to your dating profile.  The majority of women will look at your dating profile after they read your message so, make sure you’re dating profile doesn’t have any spelling errors either.  I covered the importance of this in another blog post; Why Grammar Is Critical In Your Dating Profile About Me Section.

Creating a good opening message to women is easy.  Don’t sweat it.  Follow these 5 tips when you create your first message to a girl and you’ll do great:

1.  Read Her Profile
2.  Look For Things You Have In Common
3.  Structure Your Message
4.  Check your Spelling
5.  Send Your Message and Relax

Your first message is just to get your foot in the door; to initiate a conversation that will ultimately lead to meeting for a date.  Your best chance to get responses to put a little thought and effort into your message.  It may take awhile and some errors but keep at it because it will pay off in the long run.