Messaging Etiquette on Dating Apps for Icebreakers
If a woman doesn't respond to your icebreaker, what is the proper messaging etiquette? Should you send a second message? Yes! Always send a second message to women when they don't respond to your initial message.
Regardless of the dating app you're on; Tinder, Match.com, POF, Eharmony, Coffee Meets Bagel, Zoosk, etc. You have nothing to lose sending a second message. What's the worst that can happen? She doesn't respond? Big deal!
Regardless of what you believe is the right messaging etiquette, I've always sent second messages to women. Why? Because women respond!
Women do respond to a second icebreaker!
If you need help with your first message, visit my blog post where I share tips for your icebreaker; 3 Good Conversation Starters for Online Dating Messages To Women.
When do you send a second message to women?
Hinge found sending a second message results in a response in more than one in three cases. The app also found if you don't send that second message, you have a one in 500 chance of getting a response, so it is worth it to send a second message.
If a woman doesn't respond to your first message, go ahead and send another. The question changes to WHEN should you send a second message?
Here are three rules you must follow when it comes to sending your second message. Pay attention and follow them completely; otherwise, you risk not getting a reply.
1. Wait at least 24 hours.
I get it, you're excited when you see a great match with a woman. Maybe she's super attractive or matches up with your lifestyle. She's perfect for you.
You send that first message, but she doesn't respond. Maybe you even see she's online at some point. However, she still hasn't responded. What's the proper message etiquette in this case? Wait!
Don't jump the gun and send an icebreaker then send your second message 2 hours later. A lot of men make this fatal mistake. You look insecure and needy.
The ideal time between a first message and second is at least 24 hours; minimum.
Never send a woman a second message on the same day as your first.
2. Send a completely different message.
When you send your second message, don't copy the same message. Here's an example from POF.
Never send the same message to women when trying to start conversations.
Choose something else in her profile and comment on that. Maybe a photo. Anything. You can even have fun with your second message asking if she didn't respond because she was intimidated by your good looks.
3. Don't send more than 2 messages.
If a woman doesn't respond to your second message, leave it at that. Don't send a third message; you'll appear desperate and annoying.
Also, don't get angry or upset if a woman doesn't respond to your second message. A lot of men get angry and hurl insults at women. Don't be that guy.
Take the example from POF that my friend Lisa shared with me. The guy below sent five messages to her and insulted her in his last message.
Don't send more than two messages to women; anything more makes you look like a creep.
If a woman doesn't respond to your second message, as the Beatles sang, Let is Be.
It may pay off in the long run if you let it be. Not all women are online. You may be pleasantly surprised as some women may reach out to you weeks or months later as this woman did on OkCupid.
Be patient because sometimes women will contact you weeks after you send a message.
Final Thoughts
When a woman doesn't respond to your first message, the proper messaging etiquette is to send a second message; always! You have nothing to lose sending a second message and everything to gain.
You have nothing to lose sending a second message to women.
There are many reasons women don't respond to your message within the first day.
- The woman isn't as active as you on dating apps.
- Sometimes life takes precedence over online dating, and she had other priorities.
- Your message got lost in their inbox among a sea of other guys.
- Maybe your first message was bad.
And the list goes on. There are too many reasons to list, but the fact is you should always send a follow-up message. Just wait a full day and send a second message because you may just get a response.
Share your experiences below? Should you send a second message to women? What's your success rate?