What are Deal Breakers On The First Date

I posted a thread on a dating forum asking women for some of their deal breakers on the first date. The response was overwhelming. Apparently there are a lot of men who just don’t get it.

After sorting through the responses I’ve listed 5 of the top deal breakers on the first date that women have with men. If you’ve been ghosted by a woman recently or she tells you she’s not interested, you may have done one of these so take note.

1. Arriving Late

First off, a little advice; you should always arrive early for your first date. Meet her in the front of wherever you are meeting. That way, she doesn’t have to look for you in a crowded bar. It shows class and that you are a gentlemen.

But things happen and you may have some sort of delay. Traffic may be bad. Maybe there’s an accident. Maybe you want to meet after work but have a meeting that runs late. There are things that can just happen. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball.

If you are going to be late, be sure to call or text to give her a heads up. It shows you are considerate and a gentleman.

In fact, if she’s already at the bar, call the place and ask them to bring her a drink. It will make a great first impression even if you are late.

2. Being Negative

Leave all negativity at home. The only thing you should bring on your first date is your wallet and a positive attitude.

Being angry, hostile, or displaying any negativity is one of the top deal breakers on the first date. You will not impress a woman with endless ranting. Vent about any subject at your own risk.

This included being rude to the staff. NEVER be rude to the staff.

3. Playing With Your Phone

As soon as you meet your date, put your phone in your pocket and put it on silent.

Maybe you left your kids with a babysitter or are on call for work and need to be available for emergencies. Put the phone on vibrate and keep it in your pocket. Whatever you do, don’t leave your phone on the table.

Put the phone away. You are on a date and it’s rude to check your phone while talking to a woman. If you have your phone out, it shows how much you value her time. Bye-bye second date.

If you are expecting an important call and your phone vibrates in your pocket, excuse yourself to the restroom and check it then.

4. Glaring Differences from Your Photos

At the top of the list of deal breakers on the first date is when men show up looking nothing like their profile photos.

Take a look at yourself in a mirror. Then look at your photos on your dating profile. If you don’t look like your photos it’s time to use new photos.

Don’t think you can show up and “woo” her with your charm and sex appeal. It won’t work.

If you don’t look like your photos she’ll be upset. You’ve shown that you have lied about yourself so everything else about you may be a lie. You don’t want that in the back of her head.

5. Touching

Never get touchy feely with a woman on your date. Don’t rub her legs, touch her shoulder, anything. HANDS OFF.

When you first meet her, a hug is usually acceptable. If she reaches out to shake her hand that’s fine. Respect her boundaries.

After your shake her hand or hug her, it’s hands off. Be sure you give her space.

The only time it’s appropriate is if she gives a green light. You’ll know it when it happens. Women like assertive men but unwanted touching is a turnoff and not appropriate.

Bonus Tip: Talking About Your Ex

Don’t bring up your ex on your first date. No need to look in the past. Focus on the future.

Sometimes it’s unavoidable. Your date may ask you about your last relationship or why it didn’t work out.

I don’t care if she took you for everything, slept will all your friends, took your dog, ransacked your house, trashed your car, or anything else extreme. Just say “It didn’t work out” and leave it at that.

Don’t be the guy who goes on a rant about his “crazy ex-girlfriend”. Remember #2 above, No Negativity.

Final Thoughts

Guys, the best way to ensure a second date is to avoid doing any of these deal breakers on the first date. Listen to what women are saying and stay away from talking about your ex, being negative, showing up late, actually looking like your photos, keeping your hands off, and show up on time.

If you play it like a confident, charming, gentleman and show a little class, you’ll be fine.



Feel free to share your thoughts below about women’s deal breakers on the first date. You can even list a few of your own.