The Pros and Cons of Online Dating
Are you curious about the advantages and disadvantages of online dating? I've created a list of the pros and cons of online dating so you can decide if it's for you.
I'm not going to lie; I think the benefits of online dating far outweigh any negatives. Yes, online dating has its fair share of problems, but meeting someone special is worth it.
The Pros of Online Dating
There are women (a lot of women) on dating sites - There are countless women on dating sites right now. Some women look for relationships, while others want something more casual, so you have the opportunity to find, and date, whom you wish to.
The beauty of online dating is the exposure to women you'd never run into in person. Log onto any dating site anywhere and anytime and you'll find countless women seeking the same thing you are.
The added bonus is you can send messages to women at any time (although I'd recommend NOT sending messages to women at 2 AM because it looks like a hookup).
Quick easy setup - Most dating sites don't take long to set up a profile. A few photos, write a nice description, fill out your profile settings and BAM; you can start messaging women.
Of course, you want to put a little effort into your profile, so you stand out. For dating profile help, I encourage you to visit these pages on my site for profile tips:
1. How To Take Good Dating Profile Photos For Men
2. 10 Things Men Should Never Write On Their Dating Profile
3. How To Create A Good Dating Site Username
4. 10 Online Dating Profile Headline Tips for Men
Lastly, I recommend updating your profile monthly with recent photos and share recent adventures, but initially, a profile setup is a one-time thing.
You got options - Online dating magazine estimates there are nearly 2,500 dating sites in the United States, but only a handful of the sites are relevant. Fewer than 25 are considered "major" where the definition of major is "online dating services which have more than one million current, active, and unique members."
There are the old warhorses...Match.com, POF, OkCupid, eHarmony, and Zoosk for example. Some sites have been around a few years like Tinder plus up and comers like Bumble and Hinge. Oh, and there are under the radar dating sites like MeetMe, Badoo, and Twoo; all of which have tons of women. You have plenty of options!
You can establish chemistry before a date - Online dating allows you to build chemistry before the meeting which is critical so you can filter out the women who you don't mesh with. You can establish common interests, goals, hobbies, and chemistry through conversations before your date.
Online dating allows you to show your personality and character before meeting someone so you can ensure you're a match. Transitioning from messaging on the dating site to texting or phone conversations is the ideal way to ensure there's chemistry.
Online dating is convenient - There's no need to go to a bar or put the moves on someone at the gym. You can literally meet women while in line at a store, sitting waiting for a movie to start, or at work (on your lunch break, of course).
Where else are you exposed to so many potential partners? It's Tuesday night as I write this blog post and there are 302 women on Match.com!
Where else are you exposed to over 300 women on a Tuesday night? Good luck finding that at a bar or club.
Seriously, who wants to go to a bar on a Tuesday night to hopefully talk to maybe one or two women when you can message countless ones online. Online dating is where it's at!
Online dating is free (sort of) - There are many dating sites which are free to use. Tinder and OkCupid, for example, allow you to message women free of charge. You can protect your wallet by using free dating sites to meet women.
I'm a big fan of paid sites like Match, but hey, if you don't want to spend money, there are several free options; POF, Bumble, Hinge, etc if you are budget conscious.
Online dating rewards effort - If you put time and effort into your dating profile and messages, you'll do well on dating sites. Too many guys write little about themselves on their profile and write messages such as "Hi" or "how are you?" to women. Don't be lazy; it shows women how serious you are about dating.
One thing I've found is when I write a kick-ass dating profile and put effort into my messages; I do incredibly well. Do the same, and you'll have no problem meeting women.
Filter out what you don't want - Most sites have a filtering tool so you can exclude women from your searches. Maybe you aren't keen on meeting someone whose education level doesn't match yours, has (or doesn't have) kids, is on the opposite end of your politics, etc..
Keep in mind some sites required a paid membership to use filtering tools. Hinge for example is free, but you have to pay to access their filtering tool. Also, sites like Tinder don't have anything beyond age and distance. However, sites like Match and Eharmony do have ways to filter out what you do and don't want in a partner.
Online dating is socially acceptable - I remember in the early 2000's when people thought online dating was for "losers." I'd meet women, and we'd agree to tell people we met at a bar or some other location; but oh have times changed.
Sure, some people still think online dating is for losers. In 2016 PEW Research Center found 23% of Americans thought that "people who use online dating sites are desperate," but screw them. Look at it from the opposite end; 77% of Americans must think it's OK!
I'm here to tell you that there are plenty of normal, sane, fun, women online and who cares what other people think anyway. Go for it!
Online dating WORKS! - Yep, online dating works. As I mentioned above, put some effort into online dating (as with anything in life), and you'll do great.
Pew Research Center found that 66% of online daters have been on at least one date with someone they are matched with. Eharmony found 20% of current committed relationships began online.
Facts don't lie; online dating is an excellent way for men to meet women.
The Cons of Online Dating
Sure, online dating has plenty of pros, but there are some drawbacks. As with everything, there are bad things you'll run into or experience with dating sites. Here are a few of the cons of online dating.
You are going to be rejected - You need to develop a thick skin because women will ignore you on dating sites. Hopefully not all women, but women who you think are perfect for you simply won't be interested. I'm being honest; the reality is you can't appeal to 100% of the women online.
Online dating can bruise your ego and self-confidence if you let it. However, I like to go in with the mindset of "it's her loss" when a woman doesn't respond to my message or vanishes into the abyss.
Focus on women who DO respond. And if women aren't responding, a tune-up of your profile and messages may be in order.
Take "matching algorithms" with a grain of salt - As I mentioned above, you won't appeal to every woman. "But Chris, I'm a 98% match with a girl. OkCupid says so!" Big deal. Don't rely on a dating sites matching mechanism.
I never factor a woman's match percentage in my decision to contact her; nor should you. Read her profile to determine if she's a good match and once a conversation starts, ask pertinent questions. It's as simple as asking "what are you looking for?" to ensure you're on the same page.
Online dating is time-consuming - With setting up a profile, messaging women, talking/texting, and first dates online dating can take a lot of time and energy.
Don't expect to find your soulmate on the first date. You'll probably message a ton of women, go on several dates, text, and spend hours on dating sites. Yep, it's a lot of work, but the goal of finding a keeper is worth it.
Online dating makes women disposable (if you let it) - You have a lot of options on dating sites which you would think is a good thing. With so many women online, online dating can feel like shopping sometimes.
When I started, the grass was always greener on the other side, and as a consequence, I let a lot of quality women slip through my fingers. Know what you want going in and when you find someone, stick with her and don't think you can find better.
If you must, disable your profile to avoid any temptations. Most sites will let you put your profile on pause, and if you meet someone who is a catch, I strongly encourage you to do this.
Easy to judge people on their profile/photos - Swiping right and left is a great feature on many dating sites, but the downside is it's a quick way to judge someone. Don't just swipe left or right based on a woman's appearance or lack of information on her profile. Sure, if you aren't attracted then, by all means, swipe left.
However, take the time to read a woman's profile before swiping left. The sheer volume of women online makes it easy to bypass women who may be a great match for you.
And if a woman shares little to no information about herself, ask what her passions and interests are. You'll be surprised how many women share these things when asked.
You will encounter scammers/bots/hookers - I don't care what dating site you're on, there are fake profiles and hookers. I've had fake women contact me on every dating site you can name. There are hookers too. The volume of hookers and fakes make online dating frustrating at times.
Through experience, I can spot fakes a mile away, but if you're new to online dating, be on guard. NEVER give someone money nor
For safety tips go to my blog post here: How To Spot Scammers On Dating Sites And Protect Yourself.
Ghosting is the norm - It's unfortunate, but you will be "ghosted" at some point. Ghosting/Vanishing is common and is the "accepted" way of saying "No thanks" these days.
Having a woman ghost you sucks, but hey, it's better to know the character of the person at the outset instead of wasting more time and energy before finding out later down the road, right?
There are more men online than women - Men outnumber women on dating sites making it competitive to meet someone. Datingsitereviews found 60% of the users on dating sites are male. It's critical to have a great dating profile and messages so you can stand out.
Free isn't always the best choice -- You can meet a lot of women on free sites like POF, Tinder, Bumble, etc., but it doesn't mean they are the best choices for dating sites.
I find Match and Zoosk to be among the best sites to meet women; yes, you have to pay to use them. Even Bumble and Tinder charge for more swipes or access to features not available for the free version. In my experiences, paying for additional features is worth it.
Look, if you're serious about meeting women, spending $20 or so a month shouldn't be an issue. And the benefit of a paid site is you know the women are paying as well, so they're serious about finding someone.
Final Thoughts
Sure there are some limitations with online dating, but the "good" far outweighs the bad. There are millions of women online right now looking for men, so it's a great way to meet someone for a relationship.
There are many pros and cons of online dating, but one thing is sure; online dating works! I've had serious relationships, and I've had my fun, so I know firsthand online dating is a great way to meet women. You may even make some friends along the way. And don't discount making a friend because women typically have no problem setting you up with their friends.
Simply put, online dating is worth exploring. If you have bad experiences with online dating, it's a good idea to take a look at your dating profile and revise it along with your messages.
Feel free to comment below your pros and cons of online dating.